The Times They Are A Changin'

Most of my entries to the blogmosphere either pertain to pursuits of intoxication, debaucherous activities, or drunken ramblings. While there is certainly nothing wrong with such an agenda, there is always room for a sentimental post.

While I sat in class today (first time I made it to Tuesday classes in 3 weeks, thanks to St. Patty's day and my birthday), my thoughts began to wander. Then a sudden realization hit me: April begins tomorrow. True, with April comes spring, warm weather, baseball, red wings playoffs, maize-blue tailgate, and the approaching summer. But April also means yet another year of college has come and gone. For me, this means I only have one left.

For BOX, this April will truly stand out as an historical turning point of this institution. Perhaps not as big a turning point as when an entirely new group took over the BOX reigns two years ago. And I'm sure there have been more turning points in years past that I just don't know about. But after this year, there will be a slew of changes to BOX and its surroundings.

The Bad

- Two of the authors of this blog, Pete and B-Russ, two staples of this house over the last two years, will be graduating following this semester. Not only will they be graduating from the prestigious engineering school here (which I would certainly fail out of), but they will be graduating from a world of filth, constant drunkenness, and all else that BOX entails. Both bound for Seattle to work for the Navy, I know that we all wish these two fellows the best (side note: BOX has a surprisingly successful alumni group, which may possibly come to an end after these two leave). However, they will certainly be missed and it will be impossible to fill the void they leave upon departure.

- In another blow, BOX will essentially be losing the White Street house. As far as I know, each and every one of them will be off to bigger and better things after this year. They have been known to throw some of the best parties I've attended in college, and these will truly be missed. And I can't even imagine a BOX tailgate without them. The same can be said for all the seniors next door.

I hope that we can send these seniors out the right way, with an epic final tailgate next weekend.

- Furthermore, BOX will be acquiring a new neighbor next year that really seems all too ironic to me. Yes, with some miracle stroke of luck, the fraternity that Andy and I were expelled from is losing their house next year, and are now forced to move into a bunch of houses. The main house of theirs will be next door to us next year. Well, I'm just going to leave it at that.

The Good

- In a move unprecedented in BOX history, we will have two houses next door to eachother beginning this fall. This means that tailgating area will be more than doubled, creating new oppurtunities to destroy things, make a fool of yourself, etc. And since Craig, Justin, Jello, and the rest of the crew will be moving into this house, the drinking can do nothing but increase. I plan on passing out at this house at least once a week next year.

- Along with the additional BOX house, we will continue our sort of alliance with our good friends in DKE two doors down, albeit with a new set of fratters.

- 8 tailgates next year, with a guarantee that Michigan Football cannot be any worse than they were last year.

- Our newest member, the Daywalker as he likes to be called, will be moving in. This will offer us various hazing oppurtunities while at the same time give us a new drinking companion.

- Thankfully, although he is a senior, the friendly neighborhood drunk will not be graduating this year. This means we get another year of shenanigans and tomfoolery from this legendary man.

- The "beta" chapter of BOX has been started in Dayton. I can't imagine that it will have the continuous success that we have had here, but it can't be a bad thing that BOX is spreading its seed. (in fact, one of our own was arrested at a BOX-Dayton party over the weekend, so they're off to a good start).

The Ugly

Zola is still living here.

keeping with the gay theme

this was an actual gchat conversation between two roommates, a tad on the offensive side, and by "a tad" i mean, "i hope no one with a concience reads this". The screennames have been made up, they are terrible people.

3:57 PM FredericktheGreat6969: are you at the house?

4:00 PM loveulongtime184: nope

are you?

FredericktheGreat6969: yup

are you downloading something on your comp here?

loveulongtime184: wanna cyber?

nope

are you?

4:01 PM FredericktheGreat6969: nope

asl?

loveulongtime184: 18/f/Japan

u?

FredericktheGreat6969: 42/m/prussia

loveulongtime184: are you into tentacle rape?

4:02 PM FredericktheGreat6969: most definitely

loveulongtime184: What about Manga?

Would you like me to take off my Hello Kitty skirt

4:03 PM and start massaging my sideways vagina?

FredericktheGreat6969: mmmmm, yea, I then show you my needle gun and you are impressed

loveulongtime184: I make tadpoles fly out of my ass

4:04 PM one of them hits you

I then get naked and start playing DDR

you join in

we get an ABBA song

I am much better than you, but I can see your meatpeice waving

4:05 PM it makes me long for a Egg Roll

FredericktheGreat6969: mmmm cheese mmmm

i hand you a breakfast egg roll

loveulongtime184: I want to cover your Cockasaurus with duck sauce

but instead I eat the breakfast egg roll

FredericktheGreat6969: you are satisfied, and proceed to put soy sauce in your vagina

loveulongtime184: it slightly burns

i will use it to marinate you tube steak

4:06 PM FredericktheGreat6969: i lick it up, i receive total enlightenment

loveulongtime184: I then feng shui your balls

4:07 PM Ohh No! Mr. Roboto just walked in

you ask him to join

he says Domo Arigato

FredericktheGreat6969: i am overjoyed

loveulongtime184: we all start singing STYX

FredericktheGreat6969: my teutonic knight guard is wary

4:08 PM he reluctantly gives me his spear

loveulongtime184: then you decided to fight Kung Fu

so you throw his spear into a baby seal

and kick his ass

it tuuurns me on

I want all of you in me

FredericktheGreat6969: i insert it in the robots butthole

loveulongtime184: I beckon you over to my Yoga Pad

4:09 PM you feel my nubile tits

then in a fit of rage you take me

all of you eastern european meat

FredericktheGreat6969: my dick goes flaccid once i see you sell your used underwear

loveulongtime184: is inside of me

it has a brown streak

FredericktheGreat6969: i look at your slants, this gets me off

4:10 PM loveulongtime184: I get you hard again rolling your dick like sushi

you make me put on my furry suit

FredericktheGreat6969: the robot is clearly cornfused

nothing has pleased me more than eating pikachu out

loveulongtime184: I throw an ultraball to no avail

4:11 PM charizard!

FredericktheGreat6969: you stop talking asian and only speak pikachu

i ask you to fondle my super balls

4:12 PM loveulongtime184: I strike them down with Lightning much like Zeus

You ask me to shave your hairy back

but I can't because Im pikachu

You then gouge out one of my eyeballs and skull fuck me to completion

You are spent

4:13 PM you start singing Numa Numa

and I put my eyeball back in

FredericktheGreat6969: you are satisfied in every way possible

loveulongtime184: You then put on a track suit, and I return to my job playing starcraft

4:14 PM You leave without making a sound, and thank me for making awesome fuel efficient vehicles

4:15 PM I then commit seppuku

Box House goes exotic

The leopard print comes courtesy of the Delta Gamma sorority.

Also, I found this on the internet. I lol'd.

5 Reasons Why You Should Begin Your Saturday with a Cocktail

I know my drinking hours have been rearranged this Saturday. Here's why your's should be too:

1.)


2.)



3.)



4.)


5.)





I hope to find myself playing beer pong on the lawn, playing fruit in the street, and laughing at the real citizens tomorrow afternoon. Let's just make it an actual tailgate. Additionally, I promise to buy free 40's for everyone again if we win. You have my word.

GO BLUE.

Aftermath

So a lot of the time I wonder why I still live here, especially when I look at other engineer's gpa's and wonder what could have been. I blame my shortcomings solely on my environment, and refuse to take any responsibility for my actions whatsoever, so fuck off. Anyways, let me walk you through a typical Tuesday morning:

9:40- Get up, shower

9:55- Hang around in room, check the news

10:10- Sprint to bus

10:37- Arrive at North Campus, enter CEE415: Reinforced Concrete Structures

10:40-11:30- Listen to lecture, take notes

Here is a copy of what my notes will usually look like on said typical Tuesday

Last Tuesday, unfortunately, was no such typical Tuesday; I'll give you the breakdown

8:20-Pick up alcohol from Blue Front

8:30-Start on a 40 of Camo Silver Ice

8:45-1st Irish Car Bomb

9:00-2nd Irish Car Bomb

9:10-Chug a Killians

9:30-Chug rest of CSI, Proceed to Sparks Plus

9:45-Get in shower, chug sparks plus

10:05-Take a swig of whiskey

10:10-Stumble to bus

10:38-Probably got to class

10:40-11:30....This:

I blacked out during class, yet took every note on the board. Poorly. The only recollection I have is the end, when I was trying to get up from my seat at the end of class, one of my friends said, "I mean, I was proud of myself for drinking, but Pete can't even stand right now". I got nothing out of that class except what looks to be doodles from a kindergartner. Somehow I ended up eating potatoes at east quad, and then I took a nap in their library. Oh, and the rest of the day I was searching far and wide for a notebook, computer charger, and sweatshirt that I thought I had with me the entire day. I was an idiot, and last night I found all three in my room, I didn't even take them with me. Fantastic. I can only hope that my teacher didn't see me pulling the ol' drunken one eye while I was looking at the board.

Fuck my life.

Drunk Voicemails

So on Saturday I became quite inebriated and left my girlfriend Stephanie some lovely voice mails. Here are the ones she saved...

"I'm too drunk for pants." 4pm

"I'm trying to put pants on but I fell over and hurt my elbow and then I tried to put them on again and I, I hit my head and I'm apologizing because I'm too drunk to put on pants and I know I'm embarrassing, but I miss you and I'm sorry I'm too, I tried to put on pants but I can't, I love you" 7pm

"Hunny, there was this fat bitch you missed it, so there was this fat bitch, and she was gross, and I told her she was ugly, and she tried to grope me, and I was like YOU'RE A FAT BITCH, and I hit her with my butt, like a booty slam, and she fell down the stairs and I ran" 10pm

"Oh my god they're worse than cancer" 10:30pm

Not only do I not remember leaving these, but I remember none of said events occurring...

Issues in My Life

I have a job fair to attend in two hours having woken up today about 45 minutes ago. It is just after noon. My white sheets are covered in blood which I am sure is mine. When I say "covered in blood" I mean literally 30% of my sheets are red. I was texted from a long time friend that was visiting from Michigan State this morning that she had found me laying on the sidewalk in front of our house post punch in the face. I have no memory of anything past 6pm and apparently I flourished in drunkenness for about 8 more hours after that blackout. I have many questions as to my current state including:

Why did I wake up without boxers? Especially, considering I never sleep naked and there was no female in my bed.
Why was I punched in the face?
Why did I wake up with a Christmas card in my bed?

I actually feel terrible right now, and by terrible I mean I am embarrassed about my lifestyle. I was told through the fore mentioned text that I ought to seek medical help in regards to the condition of my eye from apparent punch. I am aware that the substance of this blogpost is very uninteresting, but I hope that you think of me the next time you think your life is in tatters because of drinking.

Plenty of Reasons to Drink in the Upcoming Week

Ahhhhh. . .St. Patrick's day, the ultimate drunkard's holiday. Aside from every football Saturday in Ann Arbor, this holiday dedicated to Ireland's favorite pastime is undoubtedly my favorite day of the year. Just like a football Saturday, this is the one day that people living in the real world will refrain from cringing at those who choose to blackout twice in one day. So, as my compatriot Notorious PLC so eloquently put it, raise your glasses to he who cast the serpents out of my ancestor's homeland tomorrow (and on Tuesday of course). For without St. Patrick's heroic endeavors, there would be no reason to rise at the crack of dawn to listen to Irish tunes and sip your favorite Gaelic cocktail.


In other events, thanks to the spectacular play of Zack Novak (with a little bit of help from Manny Harris and Deshawn Sims) throughout the season, the Michigan basketball team has cast aside its demons and is headed back to the Dance for the first time since the era of Robert Tractor Traylor. A truly sporadic team, the Wolverines have a solid chance at making it past the first weekend if they can get hot. Certainly, classes will be skipped if need be, and there will be much drinking one way or the other (either-ecstatic-jubilation- drinking or drown-your-sorrows-to-the-point-of-blackout-drinking). Join me in raising your glass to John Beilein, a miracle worker who has made the past 10 years of cursing, shouting at the television, and leaving Crisler in frustration well worth the hardship of being a Michigan basketball fan.


Also with the arrival of March Madness comes a fledging tradition in our house, Mustache March Madness. This event involves each person picking a team in the tournament, and then growing a mustache until that team has been eliminated. From past experience, I have learned that it is encouragable to drink more often during this time period because it eliminates the feeling that you look like a complete fool with your horrible mustache. More to come on Mustache March Madness when the bracket is announced on Sunday.


Happy drinking this weekend, and in the days to follow.

Hugs and kisses,
Brick

Impending Doom

As an author of Irish ancestry, I feel as though I am qualified to discuss the topic of St. Patrick's Day. The University of Michigan usually celebrates the holiday on campus on the closest Saturday to the actual day of St. Patrick (this Saturday). While many find the spirit to drink during the day or to enjoy good friends, I would like to explain how St. Patrick's Day is interpreted by yours truly. An alarm has already been set on my phone for 5:30am (an entire hour later than when I started last year) for a wake up call on Saturday morning. I plan on starting the day off with a couple Guinness, but as I do not have the intestinal fortitude to drink more than 6 in a sitting I will surely move on to some lighter beverages soon after. Immediately following a series of Irish songs will be played over our speakers and surely the majority of the house will be awakened by this juncture. I plan on continuing to celebrate St. Patrick's heroic action of driving the snakes out of Ireland by drinking Green Pina Coladas. Now, I know my reader is probably a bit confused as to why I would ever to do this on St. Patrick's Day, but when a friend of yours promises to come over and "make Pina Coladas for your house early Saturday morning;" you may find yourself likely to agree with her and just have a cocktail for goodness sakes. As the day progresses, surely I will end up making my rounds to the fratastic houses around campus, whose patrons I know many of. As morning prepares to break to high noon, a BOX team will descend upon Beer Olympics where a sort of decathlon of beer games and activities between dozens of teams will take place. Upon the conclusion of this, there certainly will be a shortage of consciousness and I will probably have to engage in some sort of siesta as afternoon turns to evening; however, said nap will not occur before I make a fool of myself in front of my roommate's parents who have foolishly decided to visit on this day at around dinner time also known as my blackout time. Later that evening, an old friend has decided to throw a "Snuggies" theme party. Overwhelmed with drunkenness at this point, I will not be surprised if what is left of my dignity parades the short walk to his house dressed in a robe (seeing as how this is the nearest piece of clothing I have to a "Snuggie"). How I will accomplish these things remains a mystery to me, but I have already purchased a significant amount of energy drinks to counteract the incomprehensible amount of my favorite depressant that will be consumed. Celebrate St. Patrick's Day like an Irishman, because for God's Sake life is just a hell of a lot better when you're drunk.

I'm Hulk Hogan Bitch, Part II

For all of you wrestling enthusiasts out there, I am here to share with you all of the wrestling tales of our house.







Let it be known that while on an impromptu excursion to the University of Dayton last evening, the newly single Al made a glorious return to the world of darkness and attempted to match my Hulk Hogan-esque feat of body slamming his way through a random beer pong table. Much to his body's dismay, the beer pong table proved to be the better foe in this matchup; I reign supreme in the wrestling world. However, this champion admires the worthy effort of such a fine individual. It is not settled officially, but Al and I are strongly considering a move to the tag-team arena.

With St. Patty's day, my 21st birthday, Beer Parade, and the Maize-Blue tailgate approaching quickly, I feel confident that either myself or one of my comrades is fully capable of creating more wrestling stories. So fear not, reader, more wrestling tales may be in the making.

Our Bathroom

Click on it for the full effect.

Darkness

The darkness falls.

Maize and Blue Tailgate

While some have chosen to recollect back to the epic tales that made up FLASB09, I was always one to look to the future. There is one particular event, of which I have mentioned already in a previous blogpost, that excites me more than the others. Every fall, as my readers know, BOX house holds tailgates of magnanimous proportions. From absurd outfits to Saturday morning field goals to the most inappropriate music, this house is known for shenanigans. Every person in this establishment is most dismayed by the unfortunate truth that there are no football games to for us to relish in until the fall. State State, the hub of the student ghetto, will remain silent for 6 more months. However, every spring there is a Maize vs Blue game that takes place in early April. BOX has made a decision to waken at the early morning hour of 5am to prepare for the event with heavy drinking. There will be a Maize keg and a Blue keg race against one another. Music will be blasted to wake all neighbors within a 2 block radius. While certainly we will only garner a fraction of the attendance of an actual fall tailgate, as families drive by in the morning they will witness the debauchery of a small crowd of blackout hooligans. At least we can be sure of one thing, Michigan will come out the victor in this game! So I invite you, my reader, to come to the Maize vs Blue Tailgate on April 11 and watch Michigan beat itself. Some may call the idea proposterous, but that is just the sort of behavior that BOX prides itself on. If I have anything to say about it there will certainly be a Thunderstuck Session, Break Stuff Session, PreGame Field Goal along with the other consistent drinking games that are staples of a typical BOX tailgate. If you know of any sponsors please let me know, we are always looking for sponsors.

Hangovers

I have an exam tomorrow. What better way to pass my time than idly dreaming of spring break. I remember one particularly intriguing conversation that several of us had, the topic being hangovers. The week in Florida was full of all sorts of hangovers, which was what inspired the subject.

Hangovers come in all shapes and sizes. They may sneak up from under your bed and grab you with surprise, or you may look yourself in the mirror while drinking and say, "man am I gonna have a mega-headache in the morning". No matter what, though, they are an unfortunate part of our society.

1. The "Andy" Hangover. The great thing about Andy is you always know when he's going to be fighting the good fight all day. The indicator comes when you arise from you're bed, walk downstairs, and you hear him groaning and barfing while he's curled up with his good friend Mr. Toiletseat. Now, I've lived with this guy for three years in college, and one thing I have come to know about this bamboozler is that he can produce immortal hangovers. I'm not talking you're average morning/afternoon headache or vom-session. No. Andy takes hangovers to the next level.

His hangovers have been known to last until midnight of that night, or even further. When I was driving home from the Notre Dame game with him this year, we had to pull over at least 4 times for him to puke on the side of the highway. I thought this was impressive. Well, on the way down to Florida Andy topped himself once again. From about 12:00 until 1:00 a.m, we stopped about 5 times once again while Andy threw up his innards all over Ohio. We actually grew worried when he literally didn't stop dry-heaving/coughing like a mad-man for a half an hour strait. Even when we made it to Florida the next day, the man was still feeling under the weather.

I'm glad I don't have these hangovers.

2. The "Zola" hangover. I'm pretty sure Zola is the only one to ever perfect this type of hangover, and I hope it is forever left on Spring Break never to be seen again.

This particular hangover, which I'm fairly certain only the likes of Zola is capable of, is a direct result of going on two-a-day bender without eating any food whatsoever. When you finally attempt to fill your body with a full rib dinner, your body will firmly tell you that this is not an appropriate way to live, and you will probably fall to the floor. You do not want this type of hangover, because it probably will prevent you from drinking or moving for the next 3 days (as it did in Zola's case).

3. The "Death" Hangover. I can't speak for anyone else on the trip, but this is the one hangover I got. The first six days of the trip, I woke up feeling great. I may have needed a glass of water to quench my parchness, but otherwise I was ready to make myself a fancy and hit the beach.

This was not the case on the last day of the trip. On this day, I woke up with the "death" hangover. It may or may not involve vomiting, rejection from your entire organ system, and a general feeling that you don't belong in the world. Even when I attempted to start sipping down some cocktails that night, it ended in me vomiting over the third store balcony.

4. The "Craig" Hangover. This is the worst of all hangovers.

Fooled you! Craig didn't get hangovers because he simply woke up earlier than everyone and began drinking.


Friends, there is a simple solution to all of these hangovers listed above: Take the craig route, fix yourself up your cocktail of choice, and sit back as everything starts to feel right in the world once more. I reccomend this:

My Week (well, what i remember)

Well, I have just been given the privilege to write an honorary blog post. For that, I thank you my good friend Brick.

With this post, I will give the highlights of each day/night of the trip.

Saturday:
We werent allowed into our house until 4 pm, so we waited around forever due to the fact that we got there some time between 9:30 and 10 am. That night ended up in 2 incidents with the cops, one involving Zola calling because he thought Doug was going to kill him. I'll get to the other shortly. Avak and i decided to go to the bars, and first up was Margaritaville. We got there pretty early, and had a couple of beers. Then this large group of females showed up and I sure enough walked on over to try and make some moves. I began by telling them there was an awesome party happening at our private beach house that night, and then dont really remember what i said, which ended with them all giving me some sort of dirty look. So, we decided to move on to the next bar, Tootsies. This bar was full of 40+ year olds, so we decided it would be a great idea to go cougar hunting here. This didn't end well for me, because i thought that the best way to pick up a cougar would be to talk to them in a horrible fake southern accent. This ended up offending many people and we had to get out of there. When we got back to the house, Avak realized he was missing his credit card. He went back to Margaritaville to tell them to give him back the card, and ended up being kicked out as a result. He then proceeded to file a police report that his credit card was stolen. Turns out that when he went back to both bars we were at the night before, he left it at Tootsie's.

Sunday:
Not sure what we did up to the Michigan b-ball game, but we went to b-dubs to enjoy it. It wasn't very enjoyable, and resulted in us angrily consuming a large amount of alcohol when we got back to the house. Not really sure what we did that night either, because it was so long ago, but i believe we just played kings.

Monday:
I think we just drank on the beach during the day, but at night we had an amazing time. Doug introduced us to the game Wizard Staff, in which you drink a beer, and tape your empty underneath your next beer and end up with a tall staff of drank beers. The object is to have the tallest staff at the end of the night, but we all blacked off (out, to the common folk) and dont know who won. The next morning there were beer staffs scattered throughout the house and due to there being so many, we decided that we beat the game.

Tuesday:
8am, I wake up Ting and Zola and we have an amazing scrabble game. This resulted in words such as SHITZ, DD, HOCU, RVSQ, and other not so sensible statements being used. I believe later that day we were by the pool while Zola was very intoxicated. He jumped into the pool on his own, and when he got in was really confused wondering how he got in. He then got out and laid back down. Then Doug and I threw him in, and i shortly after felt bad, so i jumped in with him. Once he got back out, we was smacked with a flipper by Al that resulted in a red mark that remained there for at least a day. That night we were going to do tequila night, but it didnt happen. Instead, Zola, Paul, and I (i think it was just us 3??) played a game of truth or dare that ended in all of our faces being drawn on, brick getting naked, and me taking a shot of salt and thereafter throwing up and soon after passing out for the night.

Wednesday:
I think we day drank on the beach all day, but not really sure. That night, Doug had friends over, of which I only remember one, whose name was Tyler, and I kept calling him Tyler Perry asking him if he had a house of pain, thinking it was hilarious. From there, Andy, Avak, and I went out to the bars which ended in us getting a ride home from a drunk girl named Melissa. During the car ride, Melissa's friend who was hammered took Andy's finger and sucked it, and then moved his hand onto her chest. This girl was dropped off at her home unfortunately for Andy, and Melissa was invited back to our house. She accepted my invitation, and we stopped to buy the most premium beer I could think of at the time to enjoy once we got back, Glass Bottled Natty Lights. Once we got back to our house, we went onto the porch and then I proceeded to black off. Next morning, Melissa was gone, and only god knows if anything special occured

Thursday:
Due to Zola being drunk for the past 48 hours, he was very hungover this day, and didn't participate in drinking. Zola was excited the entire trip for our adventure to JR's Rib Shack, and all you can eat barbecue chicken, pork, beef, ribs, or any comination for a not so expensive price. When we got there Zola was miserable, and i thought it was hilarious because he was so excited for it but didnt get to thoroughly enjoy it like the rest of us. This soon turned not funny as when he went to pay his bill, he somewhat fainted. The entire restaurant (us and the family that ran the place) was circled around him worried very much. He ended up feeling a little better pretty quickly, so we could get him home and have him rest. That night, only four of us drank: Andy, Brick, Ting, and myself. We took videos of ourselves dancing, and dont really know what else besides that.

Friday:
Friday was our last day there, and Al and I decided we would have a strong day session of drinking together. We watched grandma's boy, and i dont really remember what happened the next couple hours. I then went for a walk on the beach with Doug and i dont remember who else, and i saw jellyfish on the ground. The jellyfish was dead, so i decided to pick it up and bring it back to the house for everyone to enjoy. They didnt really enjoy it, they just thought i was retarded because they thought jellyfish can sting even if theyre dead. Turns out its not true, and i proved it. After that, I went boogie boarding while very close to being blacked off, because i barely remember it. I then unblacked off in the shower, got myself prepared for the night (by shaving and leaving a large patch unnoticed by myself). That night, we went to the bar and on the way decided to pick up a group of Brazilians to share our cab. They told me they were from Brazil, and i made an ass of myself by saying "really? I have a friend from Mexico City" and i belive they were very much offended. I don't really remember much at the bar, and then Avak and I began to walk back. We began our walk on the beach and then decided that we still had a long way to go, so we needed to get a ride. It was 4 am at least, and we came across a Waffle House. We went inside and enjoyed the breakfast of a lifetime. Once back outside, there was a group of African Americans that I approached looking for a ride home. One of them didnt take too kindly to me and apparently was ready to kill me. Avak got me away from them and we continued our walk. We eventually were picked up by a cab, but he then got a call that he had to drive someone to the airport, so only drove us for 1/2 mile. We still had another 12 miles to go, so continued to walk and tried hitchhiking. Eventually, a limo drove by us, and then turned around and pulled up to us. He told us if we filled up $20 of gas for him, he'd give us a ride. We found this to be a great deal and we got to ride in a limo for 12 miles. It was a great experience. When we got back, i was scared i left my credit card at the bar and began to freak out. Turned out the next morning it was in my wallet, but in a different place than i normally keep it.

Saturday:
I woke up drunk so Andy had to drive. While going through alabama we saw an amazing sign that said "GO TO CHURCH" in large black letters, with "or else the devil will get you" in smaller red letters with a picture of the devil on it. Andy drove til 8pm or so, and i continued on from then until our arrival at 4:30 on sunday morning.

Other notable things that i dont remember which day they go to:
- Paul smacking the shit outta Doug while passed out
- Brick being naked a first time and yelling angrily at people
- Claire being hammered at the dollar store and i had to escort her out of there
- Andy puking 4 separate times on the side of the highway (this was the drive there, just forgot it earlier)
- Me singing the annoying quacking duck song

Well, im sure there's a ton more, but ive been writing this for like 45 minutes and im kinda sick of it.

so, thank you brick for the honorary post, and I hope i will be able to do more in the future

Craig

MVD (Most Valuable Drunk)

The FLASB09 muskateers have (unfortunately) left our sunny beach house on the gulf shore, driven our way through the lovely fields of confederate trailer parks in Alabama, up through to the much colder and rainier cities of Tennessee, through the horse farms of Kentucky, made the horrible struggle through the smelly armpit of America, and finally have returned to the freezing temperatures of lovely Ann Arbor, Michigan. No one is dead, and no one was arrested - I'll call that a success (although both death and arrest were nearly upon us at times).

After 7 exhausting days of beach-drinking, drinking games a-plenty, and getting banned from bars, there is a plethora of tales that could be shared at this juncture. However, I would like to focus on just one man. The MVD (Most Valuable Drunk) of the trip: my good pal, Craig.

If this winner comes as a surprise to you, don't let it. As I have learned over the past 7 days, Craig is a behemoth in the world of drunks. I legitimately don't remember a day when the man woke up to have a water; instead, he chose to go on the twice-a-day drunk (for at least a majority of the days) immediately upon rising from slumber. And trust me, I think Craig was the first one up most of the days.

Some of the key moments that helped him win this award include, but are not limited to (due to blackoutness):

• One afternoon Craig was found passed out under the bunkbeds. I'm pretty sure every bed in the house was empty, but he wisely chose to venture underneath a bed.
  
• The man brought home a girl from the bar at about 2:30 a.m., looked around the house frantically for a lighter to light her cig, seemed to have sealed the deal, then blacked out. Unfortunately, we don't know if Craig did something appaling so as to scare her off or if he wooed this female underneath the bunkbeds with him.
  
• Wizard staff (I just learned this game. It involves taping all your beers together to see who has the bigger staff at the end of the night). This is kind of a compilation effort, because the staffs got so large that literally no one remembers who won the game because darkness fell over the house. But I would be willing to bet Craig's was one of the largest staffs.
• After being dared to, Craig took a full shot of nothing but salt. I saw it with my own eyes and was horrified and thrilled at the same time. Vomiting soon ensued.
  
• I spent about an hour on the beach with Craig on one of the colder days of the trip, on which he decided to boogey board. About an hour later, after we had returned to the house, I hear Craig saying something along the lines of: "I just woke up in the shower cleaning myself. I was blackout and don't even remember getting into the shower". I had to inform him of the boogey-boarding, which he also didn't remember.
  
• On the last day of the trip, I was sipping on my first cocktail of the day after nursing a gruelling hangover nearly all morning. I was sitting on the balcony when I hear Craig screaming about a jelly-fish. Apparently this drunken-hero had actually brought home a jelly-fish from the beach. Now, I was under the direct impression that any sort of contact with a jelly-fish would be severely harmful. Turns out the thing was dead, but I like to think that Craig was just too drunk to care.
  
• After the jelly-fish incident, Craig attempted to prepare himself for the bars. His sorry attempt at shaving was unrecognizable to him. Only the following day did he realize he spent an entire night at the bars with a large patch of hair on his face unshaven.
• While attempting to snag a ride home from the bars, Craig told some foreigners (I forget what they were, but definitely not Mexican): "Oh I know you guys. I have a friend from Mexico City".

More FLASB09 tales to follow, I'm sure.