Ode to the Poor Life Decision

If I were any good at making graph charts, I would make a graph indicating the number of good life decisions I make in correspondance to years passed in college. Imagine a steady downward slope, until practically there are no good life decisions visible on the graph. Most college students are quite familiar with the poor life decision. BOX, however, has crafted the poor life decision into an art form.

A brief history of poor life decisions, as associated with BOX frat-stars:

Poor life decision, example 1: The Pre-Important School Work Poor Decision.
Exhibit a: Paul. After waking up Sunday morning with a pounding headache after an epic Michigan State tailgate and booze-fest lasting well into the night, you realize that you have neglected a large quantity of Espanol homework that happens do be due tomorrow, as well as an exam. Oh, and shit, you also have to go to work. Do you. . .
a) Chug some water, try and sober up, take a quick shower, and head to the library asap for the whole day?
b) Disregard social norms, disregard all work-related responsibilities, and take advantage of the miraculous circumstances that have left you with a few beers that survived the weekend, pound said beers and pass out shortly thereafter?
Exhibit b: Myself. It's Wednesday morning of finals week and you're hungover from last night's christmas party blackout. The busiest time of year. One take-home exam due on Thurs, a paper due on Friday. Do you. . .
a) Focus. Try and make yourself look respectable, brush your teeth for the first time in days, head to the Fish Bowl, and slam out that take-home exam?
b) Realize you're faced with a beeracle, seeing that there is half of a leftover keg left from last night's party, slam some beers while watching Gettysburg, and then test the myth that you write better when you're drunk later in the evening?

Poor Life decision, example 2: Expecting the Parents Crisis.
Exhibit a: Andy (AJ). OMG, your beloved Tigers have finally made the World Series in 2006. Better yet, you have tickets to the Sunday night game! It's saturday night and you're in the middle of a beer pong streak. Do you. . .
a) Say to yourself, "alright pal, you're firing on all cylinders in pong, but it's only al and zac you're beating the crap out of. You should slow down and call it an early night, you're parents are coming early tomorrow. Go tigers!"?
b) Play 15 more games of beer pong, then slam some vodka shots before passing out with little coherence. Proceed to wake up, thank god you woke up in time! Go home with your parents, oh shit, mom and dad can smell each and every type of alcohol you consumed last night. Then you spend the rest of the day disturbing your parentals by ceaselessly vomiting in your bathroom, which causes your dad to give your world series ticket to your sister?
exhibit b: "Creeper" Steve, next door neighbor and aspiring BOX legend. It's the last home tailgate of the year (Northwestern), and the last tailgate of your college career. However, your loving mother is coming to visit during the tailgate. Do you. . .
a) Take it easy for a couple hours, maybe drink 7 or 8 beers, and present yourself in a fashion that would make your mother not disgusted?
b) Realize that you this is the last tailgate of your life, the last time you can blackout respectably in the early hours of the morning. Chug all alcohol in sight like the true beast that you are, make sure that you cannot walk straight, and show mom the drinking champion that you are. In other words, live the dream?

Poor Life decision, example 3: Summer Jobs.
exhibit a and b: Ross and myself. It's now been two weeks since finals have been over, and you've spent the last 14 days in a drunken stupor. It's time to start thinking about that summer job. You're financial situation isn't exactly great. Do you. . .
a) Start applying wherever you can, sack up, and work for the Man all summer to make some good dough?
b) Slam a couple cocktails, start thinking, "hey, spending all summer getting drunk every night wouldn't be such a bad idea after all". Proceed to spend the next two months in an alcohol-induced haze straight until which point it is really not feasible to try and get a job anymore. Spend pretty much all of your funds at Campus Corner, to the point where you cannot pay a lowly tollbooth fee in Pennsylvania on the way back from Brett's Jersey Shore house?

Note: The decision made by these aformentioned frat-stars, which also happens to be the correct answer to each and every one of these alcohol crisis' is 'b'. If you chose 'a' for any of the above options, please feel free to make yourself a bleach cocktail immediately.

Let's be honest, poor decisions may not be what's best in the short-run, but at least they always result in a funny ending. Poor decision on, fellow associates.