Drunkest Man in America

There is a never-ending game we like to play here called "Drunkest Man in America". The game is simple: at any given point in any day, you drink and drink some more in an attempt to be the drunkest man in America at that time. The best thing about the game is that you don't even need anyone to play with you, for the title of drunkest man in America is always up for grabs. The other best part about the game is that there are no losers, for even though you essentially cannot win, you will undoubtedly wind up with a high level of inebriation.

We used to have a trophy here at BOX that was given to the drunkest man in BOX house at any given time. It could usually only be won by some act of debauchery that screamed out 'I'm blackout,' but just as easily could be handed off to the next man if he could somehow top the previous man's drunken behavior. Needless to say, the trophy suffered from constant drunken destruction and soon was out of commission.

The Drunkest Man game has been utilized little so far this year, but one act that occurred this past weekend reminded me of the glory this game could bring to one, and it has inspired me to renew the Drunkest Man game to new heights. This weekend, a BOX man who will remain nameless traveled west to Iowa for the football game. After what must have been a satisfactory amount of beers, this man wound up in the local jail, where it is rumored that his .333 blood alcohol content was pronounced to be "the highest BAC blown in town that entire weekend". Surely this man is probably not proud of this honor, but I am here to be proud for him. That is the definition of winning the drunkest man trophy.

Inspired by these courageous actions, I'm going to try and renew the Drunkest Man in BOX game. I'll try to post an update after each weekend naming the award-winner for that particular weekend, and then we can tally them up for when the 1st Semester Drunk awards come out.

To give you an example: Zola won the Drunkest Man in BOX game last night, judging from how he woke up on the floor using his laundry basket as his pillow this morning.

Let the race begin.