Hospitality

One week ago today, I was convinced by my friends at BOX to remain in Ann Arbor for just one more night. Their neighbors were having a jersey party, and it was surely going to be a great time. After many rounds of Old Crow shots I found myself next door and having a hell of a time. At some point during the night, I realized that nobody at this party was dancing, so I put on Michael Jackson's "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough," and started an instant dance party with the black chick I had been talking to. We began to dance like their was no tomorrow, and a few others joined in the fun. Suddenly, when the song was still less than a minute young, some ass changed the song to some Lady Gaga bullshit. I went over to the computer and saw none other than The Wetness, laughing his ass off with one hand on the computer mouse and the other around some hairy-legged bimbo's waist. I tried to change the song back but he wouldn't allow it, so I pushed him backward onto a nearby sofa, where he landed both softly and quite unhurt. He jumped up yelling obscenities and took a swing at me, landing a good blow right behind my left ear. I wasn't about to exchange punches with a close friend, so I quickly bear-hugged him to prevent anymore personal injury. I was mistaken, however, because in response to my hug he bit down hard on the front of my armpit, leaving a blue and slightly bloody circle which remains today. I then left the party and went back upstairs at BOX to use the bathroom and call it a night. Thirty seconds later, I heard the front door slam as loud as possible. It was Brick. And he was pissed off as hell. He screamed at me to pack up my shit and get the fuck out of his house for fighting The Wetness. I came back downstairs to face this drunken man. Before I could get a word out, however, we both turned toward the door as The Wetness himself entered, but not until after he squeezed a coffee cup in his hand and smashed it on the side of the house, causing a large gash in his own palm. He pointed at me and said, "LOOK WHAT YOU DID, ASSHOLE!" holding out his palm. "I'll let you stay tonight, because I'm such a good guy, but you're never allowed in this house again." "NOT EVER!" agreed Brick.