Return of a Legend

Every once in a great while there is a legend in any given field; a figure who is so mythical that little children look up to him or her with awe. Michael Jordan in Basketball, Wayne Gretzky in Hockey and Tiger Woods in Golf are just a few examples of such heroes. People far and wide stare mouths open and blinkless in shear admiration of such individuals. While BOX House prides itself on having no said compelling attributes, there is a single man who was once a member of this questionable establishment that undoubtedly retains particular remarkable facets. Around Ann Arbor, the air has been cold with temperatures flirting with 0 degrees before wind chill, but if you listen closely, the day has come. There is a gentle message in the swirling breeze around campus; the message tells of a returning legend.

Ross is a man of tremendous drinking fortitude and wisdom beyond any of his peers. After being a part of his last tailgates and eventual departure for our nation's capital, I was deeply saddened and only held out hope for his singular promise: I will return in January. Last weekend the house was falsely informed of his arrival; this lowered morale deeply, but new reliable information has come and told of his coming today. He was an athlete of drinking capability, a pillar of immoral activity and most importantly a great friend to literally every person within this house. I look forward to spending time with the man, but I personally plan on getting so intoxicated that I will not remember a great deal of it. Let us rejoice together with friends. A Legend has returned!