Brick's room

Through Al's dealings with the Michigan Lottery we found ourselves in possession of about 20,000 expired Club Keno cards. We finally decided to put them to good use by crumpling them up and filling Bricks room with them. We finished just before Brick returned from his month in Chicago.

Here is the progress.


We also sprinkled in 150 prostitute calling cards that I got last week in Vegas.

Brick came home yesterday and just stood in disbelief in front of his door for a while. I think poor Bricky doesn't have a clue of what to do with what appears to be about 20 cubic feet of keno cards.

Box and the Freshmen

We used to know these freshmen girls. They would come over and drink. They were pretty awesome. One time one of them got so drunk she passed out in the good bathroom. Then I tried to help her out, but I think she was a lost cause.

It's memories like those that I will miss about the Box House.

Good News for Tailgates; Bad News for Livers

Via mgoblog.com, I was alerted to the announcement of game time starts for the first two games of the upcoming Michigan football season:

Western Michigan @ Michigan: 3:30!
Notre Dame @ Michigan: 3:30!

Good god. Two box houses next door to eachother + first tailgate of the year + 3:30 p.m. start time... I smell a disaster a-brewing. Notre Dame certainly won't be any prettier. As has been mentioned in this blog, our 5:30 a.m. start time for tailgates usually is a recipe for blackout - for noon start times. Accordingly, 3:30 games tend to get extra silly.

As of today, only 72 summer days until the first game (Western). The first tailgate involving BOX and BOX Senior house will be here before we know it. I wish you all luck in waiting for that glorious day.

Additionally, I shall be returning to BOX probably Sunday or Monday, and I expect to blackout with anyone willing to journey into the darkness with me then. Soon thereafter, Al, after at least 5 run-ins with the law for underage drinking (I've lost count), will be turning the legal age of drinking next week. On top of this, the 4th of July awaits us next Saturday - and BOX's true love of America makes this day one of the greatest of the year for our extremely pro-American abode. Let the blackout's begin.

My Return

Thinking ahead to the month of July, I had set aside a portion of my Chicago internship earnings so that I would be able to drink comfortably upon my return to BOX. However, this layaway money underwent a significant depletion yesterday when me and my Texas friend decided to rip 15 shots and then go out to the bars in Wrigleyville -- where I blacked out and somehow managed to spend over half of said layaway money.

This leaves me in a predicament. While I am excited to be returning home to the castle of debauchery, I simply will not have sufficient means to fund my lifestyle of excess. And let me tell you, one cannot be reasonably expected to live in a house of filth and other drunks while remaining sober. BOX and sobriety are simply incompatible. Fast approaching events such as Al's 21st birthday, the Fourth of July, and the Old Crow Challenge only further make sobriety not an option.

What ever will I do, you ask? Well, I do have some plans. For one, I will purchase only the cheapest half gallons from Meijer or 40's of CSI from somewhere else cheap; I must avoid the overpriced campus liquor stores by all means. Secondly, I plan to collect cans and return them for 10 cents/beer money. Yes, I will be acting as if I were a resident Ann Arbor homeless man. I'm also considering buying alcohol in bulk online (i.e. a cask of Old Crow). And finally, I will rely on you, loyal reader. Yes, you. I'm taking the advice that was given to Paul on an earlier post and creating a PayPal account so you can donate money to fund my drinking addiction:

Why would you ever want to donate funds for a cause such as this? Well, if I was you, I certainly wouldn't, but it's pretty funny anyways. Just think, with a measly 3 dollar donation, you can fund a CSI purchase -- the equivalent to half of a nights drinking. With a measly 2 dollar donation, you've just bought me a pitcher at Mitch's on Wednesday nights. If you're a big spender, you could even chip in 13 dollars, enough for the cheapest half gallon around, and enough for me to sufficiently blackout 3 or 4 times. I've also created some incentives for you to donate. I promise anyone who donates that I will drink entirely in your honor on a particular night, and I will wear a silly outfit of your choice. Scout's honor. So get your credit card out, and begin donating now to support a good cause! I'm not sure if it will work, but I'll try and get B-Russ' help so I can figure it out.

I shall see you soon, BOX.

P.S.
Jello, I fully expect you to be my top contributor, because you're making far too much money for a being a drunk college student.

Complete Success

In a pathetic and excessively silly effort BOX threw a party for one the most grumpy yet beloved roommates yesterday night. ZOL-A-Palooza was an epic accomplishment. We not only made the 20 year-old a mess, but we avoided a noise violation, oriented at least a dozen incoming freshmen to the house, drunk beer on the porch with the owner of the corner liquor store, verbally accosted individuals, spent time with the outgoing seniors who soon will be joining the work force and of course wore outrageous outfits. On top of this, yours truly was blessed with a few visitors from back home as was the birthday boy. Needless to say, the main reason this party was a victory was the high attendance despite the fact that it is summer term. Now, downstairs it smells like Maple Syrup for some unexplainable reason. Success.

Email from the landlord...

"Please see the attached memo regarding the violation notice we received from the city. Your residence was cited for "unsanitary living conditions" in all common area rooms and the basement. Please remedy this situation immediately. A representative from the Arch Realty Maintenance Department will be following up on Wednesday, June 24 to ensure that your residence has been restored to a clean and sanitary living environment."According to the city we have a "G5" violation. I think that is a citation for excessive dudeness, but I could be wrong.

Bright Spots after a Tragedy

After last night's debacle on ice, I am forced to relay stories of hilarity and excellence that occurred yesterday evening. The members of BOX did the following:

-Defecated on the hood of a Camaro
-Stole a large wooden post from a neighboring property and placed it against a door
-Scaled a house and spent a good portion of the night on a second story porch of a locked house
-Built our new letters
-Crashed a party at a house where we aren't welcome
-Drunk with parents on their tab at a bar
-Spread Club Keno slips all up and down the block
-Destroyed several empty 40's into State Street
-Threw a 3 week old Burrito in State Street

This constitutes a typical response to a Red Wings defeat in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals.