Things that Can be Found during BOX Cleaning

After a long weekend of heavy drinking and poor-decision making, it is comforting to come home to a nice, clean, fresh-smelling house where you calm yourself and try and forget the regrettable fact that you have missed all three of your Monday classes. Unfortunately for those of us living in this resort -- which probably doesn't meet the sanitary standards of the pig pen at the Detroit Zoo -- we are not blessed with luxuries of that sort.

So today I put my cleaning hand to the task. This endeavor is no easy task. I am in no way exaggerating when I say that you can find a beer can in literally every possible place a beer can could fit. Nor am I exaggerating when I say that I would rather have cooking utensils that were washed with Boo Weekley's tobacco spit than I would utensils that were washed in our cesspool that is supposedly a sink. Perhaps worst of all is that every day our tiled floor begins to look more and more like the dirt-covered terrain of the Michigan northwoods. Perhaps this is because our mop is out of use because our mop bucket is filled with beer, urine, hot dogs, and who knows what else. No, cleaning and/or living at the BOX during sober periods is no stroll in the park.

However, while I was cleaning this evening I was suddenly struck with pride in my abode. As I was cleaning out the garbage from the second floor, I discovered a mysterious unopened DVD. A smile came to my face when I saw that said DVD was in fact "White Butt's Outdoors" (6 straight hours of anal penetration). Only in this abode could I find such an incredible artifact from who knows when.

So if you are a pornography fan of the anal or outdoor variety, be sure to stop on by. Because "White Butt's Outdoors" is now available at any time here in our pigpen.