NEW SPECIES DISCOVERED

The Cavanagh Bird: A portly, flightless bird who smokes Santa Fe's and eats exclusively burritos

Antiqued

This is what happens when you pass out drunk circa 4 p.m. at BOX:
















... ANTIQUED!

R.I.P. BOX Tailgating

New Box House Pets

Ever since the death of the beloved hamster Harriet Tubman, as she was poisoned while she drowned in the BOX washing machine, the BOX fellowship has been saddened and dismayed with the absence of a house pet. The Friendly Neighborhood Drunk was so upset that he attempted to dig up Harriet's grave in the front yard with a 2 by 4 during a stupor (Fortunately, someone stopped him, and Harriet still rests in peace). In lieu of our pet-loneliness, BOX decided to buy this:


Everyone should own an ant farm! Not only is it educational, but it is downright fun. Furthemore, it is especially easy to maintain an ant farm when your house is infested with ants! (BOX is dirty, if you were wondering). Things we have done with the ant farm thusfar:

- Fed the ants weed brownies
- Put a bumblebee into the farm to watch two powers of the insect world duke it out
- Put a ladybug into the farm to be annihilated
- Fed ants booze.

What an amazing pet!

Bum Court BOX Basketball

This afternoon BOX members fell upon Bum Court. Pushing aside the broken glass and other mysterious substances on the court, we began to shoot around. Soon enough, a game ensued. The teams were split by Notorious PLC, The Wetness, and Marky Mark on one side. Our opponents were Zola, C-Rag, and Folster the Holster. Now, I know that all of my readers are concerned, and have a lot invested into me winning this showdown. However, when the game began Notorious PLC ceased to be and instead I took on the alter ego of The Landlord because I owned the paint. In what will be considered one of the most important and epic games to ever take place, our team was victorious 11-7. The Landlord capped off the best performance of his career with an oustanding 3 points. My athleticism is a gift for all mankind. Due to our mean team defense, the best Bum Court basketball player to ever live, Zola, was held to 1 point.

Scoring Summary
Marky Mark: 4
The Wetness: 4
Notorious PLC (The Landlord): 3

Other Team: Who Cares?

It feels so great to know that you're a winner, and not a loser like Zola, C-Rag, or the Holster. Its just such a rewarding feeling.