New Box House Pets

Ever since the death of the beloved hamster Harriet Tubman, as she was poisoned while she drowned in the BOX washing machine, the BOX fellowship has been saddened and dismayed with the absence of a house pet. The Friendly Neighborhood Drunk was so upset that he attempted to dig up Harriet's grave in the front yard with a 2 by 4 during a stupor (Fortunately, someone stopped him, and Harriet still rests in peace). In lieu of our pet-loneliness, BOX decided to buy this:


Everyone should own an ant farm! Not only is it educational, but it is downright fun. Furthemore, it is especially easy to maintain an ant farm when your house is infested with ants! (BOX is dirty, if you were wondering). Things we have done with the ant farm thusfar:

- Fed the ants weed brownies
- Put a bumblebee into the farm to watch two powers of the insect world duke it out
- Put a ladybug into the farm to be annihilated
- Fed ants booze.

What an amazing pet!

Bum Court BOX Basketball

This afternoon BOX members fell upon Bum Court. Pushing aside the broken glass and other mysterious substances on the court, we began to shoot around. Soon enough, a game ensued. The teams were split by Notorious PLC, The Wetness, and Marky Mark on one side. Our opponents were Zola, C-Rag, and Folster the Holster. Now, I know that all of my readers are concerned, and have a lot invested into me winning this showdown. However, when the game began Notorious PLC ceased to be and instead I took on the alter ego of The Landlord because I owned the paint. In what will be considered one of the most important and epic games to ever take place, our team was victorious 11-7. The Landlord capped off the best performance of his career with an oustanding 3 points. My athleticism is a gift for all mankind. Due to our mean team defense, the best Bum Court basketball player to ever live, Zola, was held to 1 point.

Scoring Summary
Marky Mark: 4
The Wetness: 4
Notorious PLC (The Landlord): 3

Other Team: Who Cares?

It feels so great to know that you're a winner, and not a loser like Zola, C-Rag, or the Holster. Its just such a rewarding feeling.

BOX: 2010 Frat of the Year

The poll results are in, and America has spoken:



We successfully pissed off some sorority, and pissed off the SigEp bro's who were bro-ing out on the lawn yesterday. Also keep in mind that this sign accompanied all of our furniture on the front lawn yesterday.

Also, things currently happening inside the home:
- Broken garbage disposal, which has created a sloppy broth of food compiling in the sink
- 1 clogged toilet
- Mysterious garbage can full of urine festering in the bathtub that Harriet Tubman briefly called home
- One couch soiled by the infamous drunk urinater, smelling strongly of cheese

Meatspin Record

To preface, BOX has sort of a unofficial challenge about who can get the most meatspins, of course by someone else putting meatspin.com on an unsuspecting victim's computer.

Earlier this year, I thought I had made quite the accomplishment when my computer screen read "320,00" meatspins on meatspin.com. I was wrong.

Apparently, over spring break, or Gay10 - which I hope to describe fully with another entry - I had been meatspinned. When I returned today, I had reached 658,000 meatspins. I challenge anyone else in the world to acquire more that than.

Profile of: Bricky Bear

Bricky Bear, is that you on top of that horse? Get down from that horse! You don't belong on that horse!


Bricky Bear's Loves: Alcohol of all varieties... actually that's it, just alcohol. Preferably Old Crow Bourbon Whiskey. Also, Camo hats, wearing fake Indian headresses, snorting substances, literature written by alcoholics (namely Bukowski, Hemingway, Kerouac, London), John Denver tunes

Bricky Bear's Hates: LGBT groups, SigEp, horses that ride too fast for bears to ride on them, Sports gods shitting on him, women with morals, anywhere north of the mason-dixon line, Non-alcoholic beverages besides mountain dew, Anyone not originally from America

Bricky Bear's Favorite Ice Cream: Chocolate cocaine chips

Bricky Bear's Favorite thing to do at 5:35 a.m: Drinkin' and watching '97, '98, '02, and '08 Red Wings Stanley Cup videos.

BOX Profile of: Zola McChron-Zola

Is that David Bowie???!!! No! Wait! It's BOX resident ZOLA!


Zola's Love's: Hot Showers, Alcohol (white rum & bourbon), black coffee, Indigo Girls, Movies, Hannah, Cow & Moose, the idea of Zombies (he will not think twice if you turn into a zombie)

Zola's Hates: Religions, Illinoi Nazi's, People who think Animal's Should Have Rights!, Fat People (besides Paul, besides Jon Daly, but including Cheese Paddle), Non-normal Jeopardy, College Football Recruiting, Goalies Facing Rick Nash in Shoot-outs

Zola's Favorite Ice Cream: Cookie's & Zombies

Zola's Favorite thing to do at 5 a.m.: Push Native-American's off of their reservations

Profile of: The Danimal

Is that Hunter S. Thompson, you ask? No! That's BOX resident, The Danimal!!!!

Danimal's Loves: Alcohol, Drugs (specifically low-grade meth), and older women, Zolas, Meijer food chains, Trousers that do not feature zippers (i.e. sweats)

Danimal's Hates: Jews, Catholics (I find this ironic, because Dan is a confirmed Catholic), Protestants, Deer (he hope to kill one someday), Zolas (he also hopes to kill this mammal)

Danimal's Favorite Ice Cream: Cookie's n' Cream

Danimal's Favorite Thing to do at 5 a.m.: Coca-cola (aka the drug)