BOX: 2010 Frat of the Year

The poll results are in, and America has spoken:



We successfully pissed off some sorority, and pissed off the SigEp bro's who were bro-ing out on the lawn yesterday. Also keep in mind that this sign accompanied all of our furniture on the front lawn yesterday.

Also, things currently happening inside the home:
- Broken garbage disposal, which has created a sloppy broth of food compiling in the sink
- 1 clogged toilet
- Mysterious garbage can full of urine festering in the bathtub that Harriet Tubman briefly called home
- One couch soiled by the infamous drunk urinater, smelling strongly of cheese

Meatspin Record

To preface, BOX has sort of a unofficial challenge about who can get the most meatspins, of course by someone else putting meatspin.com on an unsuspecting victim's computer.

Earlier this year, I thought I had made quite the accomplishment when my computer screen read "320,00" meatspins on meatspin.com. I was wrong.

Apparently, over spring break, or Gay10 - which I hope to describe fully with another entry - I had been meatspinned. When I returned today, I had reached 658,000 meatspins. I challenge anyone else in the world to acquire more that than.

Profile of: Bricky Bear

Bricky Bear, is that you on top of that horse? Get down from that horse! You don't belong on that horse!


Bricky Bear's Loves: Alcohol of all varieties... actually that's it, just alcohol. Preferably Old Crow Bourbon Whiskey. Also, Camo hats, wearing fake Indian headresses, snorting substances, literature written by alcoholics (namely Bukowski, Hemingway, Kerouac, London), John Denver tunes

Bricky Bear's Hates: LGBT groups, SigEp, horses that ride too fast for bears to ride on them, Sports gods shitting on him, women with morals, anywhere north of the mason-dixon line, Non-alcoholic beverages besides mountain dew, Anyone not originally from America

Bricky Bear's Favorite Ice Cream: Chocolate cocaine chips

Bricky Bear's Favorite thing to do at 5:35 a.m: Drinkin' and watching '97, '98, '02, and '08 Red Wings Stanley Cup videos.

BOX Profile of: Zola McChron-Zola

Is that David Bowie???!!! No! Wait! It's BOX resident ZOLA!


Zola's Love's: Hot Showers, Alcohol (white rum & bourbon), black coffee, Indigo Girls, Movies, Hannah, Cow & Moose, the idea of Zombies (he will not think twice if you turn into a zombie)

Zola's Hates: Religions, Illinoi Nazi's, People who think Animal's Should Have Rights!, Fat People (besides Paul, besides Jon Daly, but including Cheese Paddle), Non-normal Jeopardy, College Football Recruiting, Goalies Facing Rick Nash in Shoot-outs

Zola's Favorite Ice Cream: Cookie's & Zombies

Zola's Favorite thing to do at 5 a.m.: Push Native-American's off of their reservations

Profile of: The Danimal

Is that Hunter S. Thompson, you ask? No! That's BOX resident, The Danimal!!!!

Danimal's Loves: Alcohol, Drugs (specifically low-grade meth), and older women, Zolas, Meijer food chains, Trousers that do not feature zippers (i.e. sweats)

Danimal's Hates: Jews, Catholics (I find this ironic, because Dan is a confirmed Catholic), Protestants, Deer (he hope to kill one someday), Zolas (he also hopes to kill this mammal)

Danimal's Favorite Ice Cream: Cookie's n' Cream

Danimal's Favorite Thing to do at 5 a.m.: Coca-cola (aka the drug)

Olympic Obstacle

Gold. Gold. Gold.

USA! USA! USA!
One fifth. One fifth. One fifth.
Blackout. Blackout. Blackout.

Tonight the Olympic drinkers are faced with what is surely the most formidable obstacle of the Olympics yet. For the first time, the daily fifth was not consumed before 5 p.m. On top of that, we have won a gold and a silver in women's downhill skiing. That put's us at 2 fifths and a pint. Yet Shaun White still has to compete later tonight, which everyone expects should be a gold medal.

To make matters worse, only four of us are drinking tonight. It appears as if the blackness will enter the future of some of those closest to us very shortly.

Update: Gold and Bronze in Speedskating.

Update 11:00 p.m. There are but 3 drinkers remaining. I just finished a paper drunk. The friendly neighborhood drunk is obviously blackout per usual. And the Danimal is drinking. Notorious PLC has departed from the home, but hopefully shall return soon to join is pursuit of intoxication. Al, for some reason, is drinking beverages other than the 2 1/2 fifths that we are required by BOX Olympic law to consume. Expect more drunken updates soon.

Update: 11:20 p.m. Shaun White wins gold. Other unknown American wins bronze. This makes this drinking tallies thus:

- Daily fifth: consumed
- Women's skiing gold (fifth): nearly consumed
- women's skiing silver (pint): consumed
- speed skating gold (fifth): none consumed
- speed skating bronze (CSI 40): consumed
- men's half pipe gold (fifth): none consumed
- men's half pipe bronze (CSI 40): none consumed

Lets recap: it's 11:30 p.m, and we have 2 fifths, one pint, and one CSI 40 to consume before dawn. Not only will this day go down as the greatest Olympic day for the United States of America, but this day will certainly go down as the greatest struggle of the BOX Olympic drinkers - for we surely face a deadly task in front of us in the coming hours.

Update: 11:37 p.m.: One fifth remains. Notorious PLS has returned. He and I intend to represent America by drinking this by ourselves. All others are either too drunk or too Canadian. But the Notorious PLC and myself are American, and we promise that this fifth shall be consumed, no matter how drunk-johsnon we already are,.

Update: 1: 49 a.m. Holy Bozonka-burgers. Zola, PLC, and I determined to consumed alcohol.

The Games Go on.....

The Opening Ceremonies approached quick
We all made sure we looked real sick
All dressed in red, white, and blue
About to drink a lot......what's new.

Everybody supporting our country.
The Great Land of drinking is really something.
We had three half gallons on the plate
Everything was gone, but it wasn't late.

Our whole house stumbling onto the floor.
The booze was gone, but we wanted more.
Lots of dudes were present,
But we still had a few girls, which was pleasant.

The night began to get foggy and hazy
I was crying on Zola's shoulder....how amazing.
Our entire house totally shit bombed.
Dropping booze down the hatch like a phenom.

Waking up the next day, Wow what happened?
Head pounding, stomach aching just the standard.
Lady friend had to climb onto the roof and through the window,
The signs of a true black out, that's what i know.

As we continue on, yes we have won.
Six medals thus far,
We are drinking enough, we could run a bar.
The days are bound to get longer,
And with it our drinking skills will get stronger.

These games aren't for the faint of heart,
We have all known that from the start.
So let us all get together for our nation,
And celebrate our winnings in exaltation.

Go America! Go Box!